A BIG Question

How can I respect a God who would consign people to a hellfire to be tortured forever?

This is not what the Bible teaches, even though most of Christianity does.  Something to be understood about Christianity is discussed at Matthew 24:5. As the centuries old King James Version states it, “For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.”    Luke 13:24-27: “²⁴Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able. ²⁵When once the Master of the house has risen up and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and knock at the door, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open for us,' and He will answer and say to you, "I do not know you, where you are from,' ²⁶then you will begin to say, ‘We ate and drank in Your presence, and You taught in our streets.' ²⁷But He will say, ‘I tell you I do not know you, where you are from. Depart from Me, all you workers of iniquity.'” Just because people claim to be preaching and teaching from the Bible doesn’t mean that they are.  

It is beyond the scope of this work to explain this further here, but suffice it to say that the Bible is clear that God’s will is that nobody perishes.  There is a “hellfire”, but it is not a place; it is a condition that will come on the earth as the planet is destroyed.  The Bible tells us that God will save the people, but burn up their works.