Choosing My Feelings and Behavior

I am not my behavior, and you aren’t yours.  I am awareness.  I’m not just aware, but I am aware that I am aware.  I can observe my behavior.  What I observe is that I have thoughts, and these thoughts are filtered through my addictions to trigger emotions. These emotions impel me to action. My actions become habits, and my habits become my basic behavior. 

It is a programmed process.  As such, it can be fairly automated: I become like a robot.  My emotions seem predictable when I am operating with security, pleasure or power addictions.

If I am programmed, I can be reprogrammed. If I am to be set free from my automated emotional responses, I have to be reprogrammed.  Paul says in Romans 12:2 that I should not be conformed to how this world behaves (they suffer from the same addictions), but that I should change the way I think --- have my mind transformed through a renewal.

To reprogram, I should first be aware of what I need to change.  I need to be aware of my addictions.  How can this be done? 

Since, addictions trigger separating emotions, I need to be on the lookout for them.  Whenever I feel a separating emotion, it is a red flag. It’s a warning that somewhere there lurks an addiction.

This is not just an occasional opportunity.  It’s a continual thing. Minute by minute, I have experiences that can trigger my robotic emotional responses, and minute by minute I am given the chance to find something I need to reprogram.

Every time I feel an emotion that tells me I am rejecting the here and now of my life, I need to consider what triggered it.  What was the thought, and what is the addiction that was triggered by that thought? 

Sometimes a thought can trigger a basic need which is not an addiction, such as the need to be loved. For example, if I am feeling unloved, what are the thoughts upon which I have been dwelling?  They haven’t triggered an addiction, because needing to be loved is hard-wiring, not programming. 

At times like this, it is good to remember that we can choose our emotions by choosing our thoughts.  Just because I feel unloved, it doesn’t mean that I am.  Perhaps I am just being selective in my thoughts, and need to direct my attention to better ones --- ones that will trigger better feelings.  And if I have been selective, then why?  What addiction has led me to that bias?  Some fear of being rejected?  Some other security addiction?